Monthly Archives: December 2011

Playlist: “Christmas Music For People Who Hate Christmas Music”

Listen, whoever started that whole B101 bullshit needs to be sterilized. Christmas music just isn’t good. If you’re not Chuck Berry or The Kinks, chances are you aren’t doing it right at all. Every Christmas song you hear on the radio or your mother’s “Holiday Compilation” CD is either obnoxious, depressing, annoying, terribly written/executed, or all of the above. Basically, if you haven’t figured it out already… it’s not my favorite thing. Continue reading

Essay: “The Band About Nothing – A Conspiracy-less Punk Rock Conspiracy Theory”

What do The Ramones and Seinfeld have in common? If you guessed “nothing”, you’re right. But not literally nothing… I mean, “nothing”. Get it? When The Ramones sang, “I don’t care about this world”, Jerry and George would have surely replied, “Not that there’s anything wrong with that”.  Continue reading

Essay: Cut The Crap (And By Crap I Mean The Grammys)

I almost spit out my V8 juice when I read the list of Grammy Nominations this morning. Sum 41 is nominated, Katy “William Hung” Perry is nominated for her worst song, dubstep is considered music in the “Best New Artist” category (in other news, the US Government also says that Pizza is now considered a vegetable), Eddie Vedder is nominated in the Folk Music category, the already questionable “Remix” category is literally mind-numbingly atrocious, and though The Rolling Stones have only received three Grammy Awards over a fifty-year career, the song “Moves Like Jagger” is nominated in just a few months. Johnny Cash knows what I’m talking about… Continue reading